Dating after 40 relationships updating nvidia graphics
Then picture the millions more 40- and 50-something men and women who are buying into the belief that it's just too late for them to be in a happy, fulfilling romantic relationship.When it comes to dating later in life, the scene is far from hopeless.A 2003 AARP survey of 3,501 single men and women aged 40-69 showed that 63 percent were dating.An additional 13 percent wanted to find a date, while 14 percent were interested "if the right person happens to come along." Almost half of those surveyed stated that their main reason for dating was "to have someone to talk to or do things with." Companionship is incredibly important at every age.We may choose people who treat us in ways that were similar to how we were treated in our household.We may choose someone who doesn't respect or acknowledge us or someone who is intrusive or demanding toward us.
We can resist falling into a relationship based on form or familiar dynamics, choosing a real connection over what my father psychologist and author Robert Firestone refers to as a fantasy bond, an illusion of fusion in which two people seek a feeling of safety and familiarity by choosing people who fit with old identities.Couples in a fantasy bond tend to merge their identities, relating as a unit instead of two independent individuals By understanding our history, we can make a conscious effort to make different choices, to look for new kinds of partners, and to challenge destructive tendencies in ourselves.It's no wonder that in the same AARP survey both men and women listed their biggest romantic frustration as "dating people with a lot of baggage." The more we are willing to look into our own emotional baggage and uncover our real selves, the more successful we will be in our intimate relationships.Today, in 2013, this statement may be proving to be true.The healthier, harder working and simply younger-seeming face of middle age and senior men and women is something worth acknowledging.
They've also learned a great deal about the people they've chosen.