Divorced men 40s dating new york
“I think the problem for me was that up until a few years ago, we all just assumed that men were off the hook for these problems and we could all just keep pretending we were in our twenties until the right girl came along and we could have a kid in our mid-forties, but studies have suggested that’s not the case, which was the impetus for freezing my sperm and for being slightly panicked,” said Crane, now 43, who divorced recently and is childless.
The research Crane was referring to has linked older fathers to schizophrenia and autism in children.
“In your twenties, you think you are just going to live forever,” said 35-year-old Jonathan Yevin, owner of the Brooklyn-based landscape company M. Call it ‘mangst” or “manxiety.” Either one describes the bouts of anxiety single guys in their thirties feel about their marital status.
“But then you get to a point where you see an old dad and you think, ‘I’m going to be that guy.’ That’s what a lot of my angst stems from,” said Yevin, who is not married but has a girlfriend.
Mangst sets in, according to Lerer, when all their other male friends get married.
And, presumably, parenthood is linked to marriage for most of these men.“All the surveys suggest that people, men and women, want a family life. ” said Hymowitz, a fellow at the Manhattan Institute, a New York-based policy institute.He is desperately looking for someone to love, a girlfriend.He is so fearful of being alone,” said Lerer, who tied the knot at 28.“There is an appeal to be a younger, active dad when you see how crazy your friends’ kids are,” said Mike, a 33-year-old New York-based entrepreneur, who asked that his first name only be used for professional reasons.Mike says his manxiety flares up most acutely when he is thinking that he is the last single guy at the party, a worry that’s allayed when he looks at friends who are 40-something and single. Mike believes one of the causes of the ambient anxiety men in their thirties feel about being a single guy is exacerbated by online dating tools, such as Tinder and Hinge, which make age a constant part of your profile.
Also, sperm quality declines with age, making conception more difficult.