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Since Craig and I lived somewhat of a distance away (maybe about 40 minutes) I went out of my way to see him when it was convenient for him.There were forces working against us and I didn’t want to make things worse by being unaccommodating.When your happiness is rooted in all sorts of things, not just him, you will never have to watch what you say or do for fear of coming off as needy because you will never be needy.MORE: A Guy’s Take on Neediness I met this guy years ago, let’s call him Craig.If this is true, those men in the white coats should have been on me like white on rice. I had a very needy mindset and I derived way too much of my self-worth from how men responded to be. (To know what it does look like, check out this article: 10 Things Confident People Do Differently in Dating and Relationships.) It took a long time to realize I needed to stop prioritizing guys above myself, at least until he started treating like a priority.When you are overly accommodating to him then he doesn’t feel a real push or motivation to step up and invest in you. You know you can get to it at any time so you don’t really feel an urgency.
When you have a fulfilling life of your own that exists completely separate from him, you will automatically be seen as having great value.
At this point, you may notice that he starts pulling away until he eventually pulls a swift Houdini on you, vanishing into the abyss without even uttering “abracadabra” to give you some warning!
While guys enjoy the pursuit, they hate it when you act in a way that is deliberately trying to get them to chase you. And to be clear, that is not what I’m talking about here.
The frequency of calls and texts declined…he was always “too busy” to hang out…he stopped initiating contact (but would always respond when I reached out to him, acting nice and normal like always)…
Eventually, I stopped reaching out because it was starting to make me feel like an idiot…and he was never to be heard from again.
I am not saying get him to pursue you by acting unavailable, I’m saying actually be unavailable.