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When he proposed to you by threatening to kill himself with a sword if you said no, didn't that set off any warning signals?
There was a light in the back of my head, but the problem was, nobody had told me ever that I had the right as a woman to say no about anything.
I wanted to share my spiritual journey and where I am today. We were both from really dysfunctional backgrounds and we both had the perfect ground to feed that dysfunction because we didn’t have tools and I was a kid!Did I have a gut feeling that this was totally inappropriate?Yeah, but like so many times, I just shoved it aside and I just needed to obey. I got away with it for so long because in the industry I was in, there is an expectation to show up a certain weight, so that was the perfect cover for that disordered eating. There's some sense of fake power in that performance. What was amazing to me during my celibacy was how uncomfortable it made people.They soon embarked on a tempestuous relationship that was marked by abuse, guns and violence.In her new book "Beauty Disrupted," Otis, 43, candidly writes about her struggle to overcome anorexia, as well as drug and alcohol addictions, and the spiritual quest that eventually led her to Buddhism. It's an intense book and I made a decision to put it all down. There was love and there was a lot of insanity and that could be said about a lot of relationships and of course, because he's a celebrity, they're going to pull out all the crap and take it out of context.